Sleepless Nights!

I've no idea on why don't I get sleep for the past few weeks... It has been nearly a month that I've slept well.

I just feel totally lost. A lost soul finding its way back home & searching for reasons on many things that are just not right... I do realise now that I've wasted my secondary school life serving a school which has not brought me far enough... I might have been a successful student leader but deep down my heart I feel that I've failed being a successful student and failed to know myself better. I'm really feeling so lost... Life is so unfair, we have such a short life to succeed in many things... How? Isn't there anyway to find out the reasons behind what God has planned for us? I feel so separated from God, friends, family... I just feel that I've lost everything over this past few days...

I had always wished to be like this person or that person, but I've nva wished to be myself? What is wrong with me? Nothing right! I mean, why are people ard me trying to push me into a dark zone of loneliness? Why are people always trying to find fault with me? What makes them see me alone from the rest? Is it because I've always tried to me perfect man who wish not to do any mistakes that I end up messing up everything? There were always people ard me doing mistakes that can be seen but why find fault on me? I have always been trapped in a confused state. Why don't anyone see that I'm always trying to fight... I've always been fighting alone... Although I may be seen happy with my friends but I don feel the friendship between us... I don feel anything... Most of my friends have been there for me when I am down, but yet I don feel the friendship!

I do know that this post is some sort of being off sounded but all I know till now is that I'm lost!

Till the next post of truth,
Veeknesh :)